I Just Don't Understand

“I just don’t understand how anyone could ever do that”. I winced as I heard this statement voiced by an acquaintance. The person who made the statement was talking about abortion. Specifically, how could someone ever do that, have an abortion? I realized how a comment like this could cause tremendous harm and damage if said to a post abortive person who had not received healing. The person who made this comment was not trying to inflict guilt or pain, but words can cause much pain and suffering even without malicious intent. The old childhood ditty, “Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me”, is untrue.

The second thing I thought about is, how do I answer that question? How do I explain why people have abortions? I tried to explain that abortion is a desperate act and that most people do not want to have an abortion, but I felt like I was trying to justify it and that frustrated me even more. The decision is never morally acceptable, no matter how much a person agonizes over the decision. Yet the more I tried to explain the more inadequate I felt in helping her understand. Even though I did not feel bruised by her comment, I was very concerned that her lack of understanding and her lack of knowledge could cause other post abortive people to feel shame and self-condemnation. These feelings could keep them from ever getting the help they needed to face their past and heal.

The comment was a few years ago and since that time I have had many instances to talk about abortion and why people choose abortion. Simply put, abortion is sin. I retyped the comment made above and instead of the word “that” I put the word “sin” in its place, “I just don’t understand how anyone could sin.” Now, how does the statement sound? Hurtful, condemning, self-righteous? I believe the comment was made with no intent to wound but no matter the intent, we hear condemnation.

As lovers of Christ, we strive to be very careful with our words. We do not want to say anything that would cause anyone to feel judgment or condemnation. We are here to offer hope and restoration. The world is a place of unforgiveness and pain but when our clients walk into our Centers; they have entered a safe place, a place where the light of Christ shines. You’ve heard the following cliché’ many times, but it’s true,” you are the light of the world”. Christ is in us and we share Him with those we meet.

We choose our words carefully. We build up, not tear down. We love unconditionally. We don’t question why someone sins; we simply open our arms and show them the way to sin no more. That way is through God’s Son, Jesus.

By Chris Bullock
Abortion Recovery Coordinator