The Importance of Knowing

For her book, Sex and the Soul, author Donna Freitas surveyed and interviewed students at seven different American colleges and universities representing Catholic, Evangelical, nonreligious private and public institutions. She provides a tremendous body of statistical information about the sexual activities of American college students—statistics which include information about religious identification and religious practice. One finding that is particularly unsettling and surprising is the number of students who see little connection between sex and religion:

“Both Catholic and mainline Protestant students tended to perk up when our discussions turned to what their religious…traditions teach about sex, love and romance, though not in the way one might imagine. In interview after interview, students laughed out loud when asked what their faith tradition might have to say about these matters…at the idea that their faith had anything to say about sex…They laughed because they see religious views about sexuality (at least what they know of them, which is typically not very much) as outdated and irrelevant. And they laughed because they were confused about the prospect of their faith having anything useful to say about these things.”

The Pregnancy Care Center is committed to being proactive in helping both students and parents understand God has much to say about sex, love and romance. His plans, as revealed in Scripture, are far from being useless, outdated or irrelevant. On the contrary, God’s design for sexuality is always in our best interest. Our prayer is that we can assist families in seeing God’s truths as foundational to making healthy decisions regarding their sexuality. In the words of the psalmist, we ask God to, “Open our eyes to see the wonderful truths in your law…You made us; you created us. Now give us the sense to follow your commands….Your decrees are perfect; they are entirely worthy of our trust.” (Psalm 119:18, 73,138 New Living Translation)

At every stage, parents have the responsibility and privilege to challenge, encourage and equip their children to become the people God designed them to be. Much of this equipping involves communicating truth about sexuality so the presuppositions and mistruths of society do not mold their understanding; making sure what they know as they grow are facts based on truth. By their openness and willingness to dialogue, parents can establish themselves as the loving authority—the partner in truth.

Having effective, age-appropriate conversations about sex in loving and spiritually mature ways provides the foundation for students to make wise decisions—even when they are on their own. In fact, recent surveys of college students show that parents can influence their decisions about sex even more than their friends do. (Hooked: New Science on How Casual Sex is Affecting Our Children by Dr. Joe McIlhaney and Dr. Freda McKissic Bush). Teaching children about healthy sexuality is a continuing process—no matter at what age the dialogue is started. It is never too late to move closer to God’s best. The important thing is that parents seek to know and live out God’s design for themselves, and teach His design to their children.

“Love God with everything you are. Not with just by what you say, but love him desperately with every fiber of your being. God has given us commandments that we are to take so seriously that they become our character. Teach your children the importance of this Godly character. Talk about Godly character when you are just hanging out at home, when you watch T.V., even when you are in the car, up until the time you go to bed and starting again when the alarm goes off in the morning.” Deuteronomy 6: 5-7, Message Paraphrase.

Lisa Newton, Director of Christian Education

Real Life Teachable Moments

Recently I was “ripping” through the latest issue of Glamour magazine, tearing out all the editorials and innuendos regarding sex because my 16 year old daughter likes to look through the 13 pages left of fashion. I ran across an article entitled “Have More Sex: It’ll Make You a Better Person.” As you can guess, being an abstinence educator, it caught my attention.

The author states that the brain chemical oxytocin is often called the “love hormone” due to its release during intimacy. This I know to be true. I researched oxytocin on www.wikipedia.com and it states “oxytocin released into the brain of the female during sexual activity is important for forming a monogamous pair bond with her sexual partner” (emphasis mine). In addition, the article stated research has found that people given a dose of oxytocin were more giving and sensitive to others. The author concludes with this statement; “A self-improvement plan that requires more sex? Sign us up!”

As parents, family and friends of youth, we have a rich opportunity before us to utilize popular publications such as this as a teachable moment. The pages are filled with numerable examples of the ill-logical thinking (having sex will make you nice) of which our culture has indoctrinated this generation. The time has come for us to openly and honestly talk to our teens about the message the media is portraying to them about sex—and the influence these ideas can have on their thinking and eventually their behavior.

Here are some practical suggestions you can implement. Talk to your teen about how Glamour is marketing towards teens who are not married. Yet this article, and our culture at large, encourages teens to engage in casual sexual activity, chemically bonding (through oxytocin) to several partners before finding their spouse. They make it sound like this kind of sexual behavior will never have any consequences and it’s just a game. Then ask conversation starting questions such as “how well would you expect a marriage to work when the husband and wife have chemically bonded with several other people prior to their wedding night?” Guide them to really think through the information the culture is feeding them and help them to compare it to the truth of Scripture.

Keep your eyes and ears open to these teachable moments and be proactive in helping the teens you love recognize the lies by always pointing them to the truth. Let’s be the ones teaching our kids about true love, marriage, commitment and faithfulness, and ultimately help them attain it for themselves. When our kids know better, they do better. Seize the opportunity today to speak truth into the lives of our youth. Our kids and their futures are worth it!

Tracey Pike, Director of Community Education

Become a Lifeline Supporter

Did you know it literally takes thousands of people to make the Pregnancy Care Center ministry viable? Some give to the ministry by offering their specialized expertise. Others contribute their valuable time as a volunteer in one of our centers or another ministry program. But by far the greatest number contribute to the ministry by helping to fund the work. They write a check, fill a baby bottle with change, or raise pledges from family and friends through our Walks for Life or Golf Challenge. Whether they give $5 or $10,000, every person who comes alongside us to provide funding is crucial to making this work possible.

So, for those who want to be part of this exciting ministry, we are pleased to offer a new, more convenient way to make a gift to the Pregnancy Care Center. We can now accept donations online at our website http://www.affirminglifeonline.org, under the "Support Our Work" tab.

While you can go to this page and give a one-time gift, we are especially excited to offer you the opportunity to become a Lifeline supporter by giving a recurring gift. Let me share with you why our Lifeline supporters are such a huge asset to the ministry.

1. Lifeline members provide consistent, stable, monthly income to this life-saving ministry. Regular, dependable income frees up the staff to focus on meeting the needs of clients and sharing the good news with them, rather than having to devote time and energy to soliciting the next donated dollar.
2. Lifeline supporters save valuable resources by cutting the handling costs of staff members manually processing checks. Additionally, by choosing to give online using your checking account rather than a credit card, you save the ministry from having to pay credit card processing fees.
3. Lifeline contributors also help us fulfill our mission by strategically partnering with us on a regular basis. As we think about how to "affirm the value and dignity of every human life," we are able to plan for growth as we build on the solid foundation of a stable income.

If you are looking for a way to make a difference in the lives of people who need the hope and direction that the Pregnancy Care Centers offer, we'd love for you to consider partnering with us as a Lifeline supporter.

Tim Bond, Executive Director

Equipping Teens to Walk in Truth

In light of recent news articles regarding teen pregnancy and the increasing number of states moving away from federally funded abstinence education programs, the importance of churches speaking truth in matters of sexual health and the need to equip parents to dialog with their families at home cannot be emphasized enough.

It is essential students be taught the truth that abstinence until marriage and faithfulness within marriage is the healthiest, best lifestyle choice and unquestionably in their own best interest. However, we must step back and honestly ask ourselves from where teens can be expected to learn this truth—TV? Magazines? Movies? The Internet? My Space or Facebook? Our culture has such a distorted view of human sexuality that few places, if any, outside the home or Christian community exist where a teen can get anything close to an accurate perspective of this significant area of human life.

Research consistently confirms the critical role parents have in their children’s sexual decision-making. In fact, the quality of a child’s relationship with his or her parents is one of the most important influences on sexual decision-making. A new study released by the Partnership for a Drug-Free America and the MetLife Foundation “…reinforces the fact that kids live up to parents’ expectations as well as down to them….what parents choose to discuss with their teens can have an impact on the actions their children take. When parents talk, most teens actually do listen.” (LifeSiteNews.com, 6/10/08).

Sadly, when it comes to discussions regarding sexuality, most parents aren’t talking. There are many reasons for this: embarrassment, shame and guilt from past sexual decisions, fear of not knowing what to say, sexual dysfunctions or relationship struggles of our own, to name just a few. However, none of these reasons are more important than our children. Their futures are worth whatever it takes to equip them to live a life of sexual integrity.

In his book, Talking to Your Kids about Sex, Mark Laaser, Ph.D. states, “…the greatest enemy of sexual wholeness is silence.” As parents, we can combat this enemy by taking advantage of teachable moments at every age and every stage of our child’s development. We do not have to have all the answers, but rather, be willing to put this subject of the table early with our children and keep it there as a topic for open discussion. Our goal is to have a lifetime of effective, age-appropriate conversations with our kids about sex in loving and spiritually mature ways. Equipping them to walk in truth and seeing them live in the freedom truth brings will be the reward.

Give me understanding and I will keep your law and obey it with all my heart.
I will walk about in freedom, for I have sought out your precepts.
Psalms 119:34, 45

Lisa Newton, Director of Christian Education

Tune In on Friday!

This Friday, July 11, is our third annual Care-a-thon on WYGS. Tune in from 6 a.m.-6 p.m. to hear what's happening in the ministry from PCC staff and board members. You can listen online at www.wygs.org or tune in to the F.M. stations 88.1 (Versailles), 89.1 (Greensburg), 94.5 (Salem), 91.1 ( Columbus), or 97.5 (Batesville). You'll also have the opportunity to call in and give a financial gift to the ministry. Set your dial to WYGS today...you won't want to miss this!