Don't Forget Your Condom, Dear

Written by Cynthia Workman, Abstinence Education Administrative Assistant

Parents, when you slip your teenage son a condom on his way out the door before a school dance, what are you protecting him from?  When you take your 14 year old daughter to the doctor to get her prescription for birth control pills started, what are you avoiding?  One of the consequences of teen sex is pregnancy.  Condoms and the pill help avoid that consequence.  Too bad you can’t put a condom on your child’s heart, their emotions and their future.

When providing birth control to our teenagers we are communicating we believe they have no discipline or character to resist a physical urge for sex.  We wish to help them avoid the consequence of pregnancy.  However, in supporting their teenage sex outside of marriage, we are giving them the green light to behavior that endangers their health (STIs or Sexually Transmitted Infections), their heart (one relationship after another without commitment or true love), their social life (malicious gossip) and their future (higher rates of depression and suicide).

According to the Health and Human Services website under the page heading Reproductive Health, it states “adolescents ages 15-24 account for nearly half of the 20 million new cases of STI's each year. Today, four in 10 sexually active teen girls have had an STI that can cause infertility and even death.  Also, though rates of HIV are very low among adolescents, males make up more than two-thirds of HIV diagnoses among 13- to 19-year-olds. STIs often have no obvious sign or physical symptom, so regular screenings are critical.  The most effective way to prevent STIs is to abstain from sexual activity…”  Dear parents, do you see the words “4 in 10 adolescent girls have an STI which can lead to infertility and even DEATH”?  Why then, would you give your daughter a pill to take or slip a condom in your son’s pocket on date night?  Why would you not say, “You are a precious treasure!  I value you so much I am telling you the BEST way to avoid pregnancy, an STI and a myriad of social and emotional ills, is to WAIT until marriage before having sex.  Abstinence is not a deduction or subtraction of something from your life.  It is an INVESTMENT in your future and your life!  I love you too much to encourage you in being sexually active at this time in your life.  I am here for you should you need to talk about anything related to this area.  I am your biggest cheerleader!”  Be real.  Be honest.  Don’t avoid the hard topics.  Let them know you believe in them and their future and want what is BEST, not what is necessarily easy. 

So parents, if you have supplied your teens with the means to be sexually active, you need to ask yourself why.  Are you trying to avoid public embarrassment?  Are you trying to avoid financial burden? Are you trying to avoid legal responsibility?  Are you trying to prevent a consequence, but avoid the behavior that leads to that consequence?  Do you realize your child's hear, mind, soul, as well as their body, are worth fighting for more than any of the aforementioned items you may try to avoid.  Do you realize encouraging and supporting them in waiting for sexual activity helps protect their future marriage relationship as well as the environment and relationship they bring your future grandchildren into?  Do you realize that young people can and will rise to the challenges placed before them with supportive, cheer-leading, honest parents beside them.  Challenge your sons to be men of integrity who treat women with respect and honor, who do not view women as a commodity.  Challenge your daughters to be respectable women who do not lure young men with their immodest dress and provocative words.  Communicate their great worth and encourage them to wait for marriage so they can protect their heart, mind and soul by following the wonderful blueprint, designed for our good, and handed down from our Creator.