Making Wise Media Choices in a World of Teenage Dreams

While at the National Youth Worker’s Convention in Nashville, Tennessee recently, I attended a session by Walt Muller from the Center for Parent and Youth Understanding (CPYU) on teaching students to integrate their faith into their media lives by processing media from a Christian perspective.

Walt talked about what our role as parents and educators should look like in helping with that process:

When our kids are young, we think for them.
As they grow older, we think with them.
When they are older, they will think for themselves.

Unfortunately for a lot of us, we never move past step one. When it comes to media choices, we want to yell at our kids for what they’re watching or listening to and tell them to turn it off when the message is less than positive. This does not prepare kids to learn to think for themselves.

In the session, we were able to practice thinking through a media choice with a teen. We watched the music video for the Billboard Chart topping song “Teenage Dream” by Katy Perry. For those of you who haven’t heard the song it starts, “You think I'm pretty without any make-up on, you think I'm funny when I tell the punch line wrong, I know you get me, so I'll let my walls come down.”

Is there anything wrong with the feelings portrayed with these lyrics? I don’t think so. She’s sharing that her significant other likes her for her. That’s a good thing. It’s the expression of these feelings where things go wrong in the lyrics. “Let's go all the way tonight, no regrets, just love” and “We drove to Cali and got drunk on the beach. Got a motel and built a fort out of sheets. I finally found you, my missing puzzle piece. I'm complete.”

What an opportunity this song provides to talk about what healthy relationships look like compared to what happens when we live out relationships like they’re portrayed in this song.

CYPU has put out a great resource entitled “How to Use your Head to Guard your Heart: A 3(D) Guide to Making Responsible Media Choices.” In it, Walt suggests a three step process of Discover, Discern and Decide when evaluating your media choices.

Here are just a few of the questions he encourages us to work through during the Discover phase:

• How is the media piece intended to make listeners/viewers feel? How does it make me feel? Does it manipulate listener emotions in any way?
• Does the piece make any overt or covert suggestions on how to think, talk, act, or live?
• Where are human value and worth found?
• What is the source of happiness and satisfaction in life?
• What does it say about sexuality?
• What does it say about the nature of love? What does it say about how to express that love?

In the Discern phase, examine what Scripture has to say in light of what the media piece is presenting.

Finally, Decide the following:

• Should I watch/listen?
• Will I watch/listen?
• Should I support this artist and media message with my money and attention?
• Will I support this artist and media message with my money and attention?
• How does this help me see and understand the worldview and needs of my culture and my friends?
• How would Jesus share His story and message with people who think and live this worldview?
• What biblical examples of Jesus and God’s people can shape my response to these needs?

Don’t pass on the opportunity to have open, honest discussion with the kids in your life when it comes to the media. Help them to think things through rather than just telling them what to think. Then you can trust they will be able to make God-honoring choices when you’re not looking.

Teresa Russell
Director of Development

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Grants for Nonprofits

The Decatur County Community Foundation (DCCF), along with MainSource Bank, is looking for nominations for six grants to be awarded to local non-profits. The grant program, known as Give Where You Live, awards six grants at $500 each to be used for anything in each organization's budget.

According to Sharon Hollowell, Executive Director of DCCF, nomination forms are available at the foundations Website www.dccfound.org, and all nominations must be turned in by Dec. 3. Forms are also available at locations around Greensburg: The DCCF office, the Greensburg Chamber of Commerce office, Hilliard Lyons, Edward Jones on Main St., and Decatur County MainSource Bank locations. All forms, including those retrieved online, must be dropped off at one of those locations.

DCCF will select the winners of the grants Dec. 3 from 5:30 p.m. to 7 p.m. at Chamber of Commerce Business After Hours at MainSource Bank on Broadway St. If you live in Decatur County and love the Pregnancy Care Centers, nominate us for Give Where You Life!

A Baby's Perspective

Recently when talking with one of the Pregnancy Care Center Ambassadors, she brought to my attention a poem she had written 24 years ago about abortion from the baby's perspective. She came across it as she was going through papers from her childhood and says, "I got tears in my eyes when I recalled that I was so young but so strong in my beliefs even then." I thought it was touching and wanted to share it.

My eyes are blue like mommy’s

My hair is blond like dads

But things like this they’ll never know

I’m the only chance they had



God gave me to my parents

A gift money can’t buy

They weren’t very thankful

Because they made me die



I never had a chance to live,

A chance to hear or see

They said I was still tissue

That wasn’t meant to be



I was just a tiny person

I only need time

If they had let me grow and live

I would have been just fine



They said I’m not a person

Unless I’ve actually been born

But if they really knew the truth

My sad, sad death they’d morn



The doctor came with the instruments

The pain was so intense

They pulled me from my mommy’s womb

And I had no defense




By Alison Simo
Printed with permission

By the Truck Load

In October three churches in Jennings County came together to support the work of the Pregnancy Care Center by throwing a Baby Shower. Two truck loads and a total of 230 grocery bags filled with diapers, wipes, bottles, lotions, blankets and much more was collected. Jane Bevers, Jennings County Center Director says, “We finally got it all put away!” A huge thank you to the families of St. Ann Catholic Church, St. Mary’s Catholic Church and St. Joseph Catholic Church for your amazing support. What a blessing our church partners are to the work that is being done in the centers. We greatly appreciate you! If you would like more information on throwing a Baby Shower for the Pregnancy Care Center contact Abby Glasser at AbbyG@affirminglifeonline.org.

Adopting Children

Legally, adoption is defined as the transfer of the parental rights of a child from one set of parents to another. Once an adoption is finalized, the adoptive parents are legally (and otherwise) the parents in every sense of the word. But leaving the definition at that misses the heart behind adoption, particularly for us as Christians.


Let's step back and look at the big picture. Ephesians 1:4-5 says, "For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will."


As John Piper so eloquently puts it, "adoption … is greater than the universe … Adoption was part of God's plan. It was his idea, his purpose. It was not an afterthought. He didn't discover one day that against his plan and foreknowledge humans had sinned and orphaned themselves in the world, and then come up with the idea of adopting them into his family. No, Paul says, he predestined adoption. He planned it."1


For some reason, adoption can have a negative stigma associated with it, partly due to the horror stories we've all heard. But what we have to remember is that adoption is designed to bring healing to a child that has been abused, neglected, abandoned or unable to be cared for by birth parents. It's because of this that adoption is even an option.


Families considering adoption first need to agree (particularly mom and dad) that it is something your family should consider further. It's also important to evaluate the reasons for considering adoption as well as any expectations. Adoption has to be focused on the needs of the kids rather than the needs and desires of the adults. Take the time to evaluate your motivation in adoption. If it is to "round out your family" because you want a girl or to fill an unmet need to be a parent, your tendency will be to put your needs before the child's needs, which doesn't help anyone.


Once you decide that adoption is the right decision for your family, the next step is to decide which type of adoption you will pursue and to select an appropriate agency. From there, the agency will walk you through the other steps such as paperwork, a home study, background check and training.


By Katie Porter
www.focusonthefamily.com



1http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/topicindex/89_Sonship_Adoption_by_God/175_Predestined_for_Adoption_to_the_Praise_of_His_Glory/, last accessed May 25, 2010.

Fathering Teen Daughters

An excerpt by Dr. James Dobson from his book Parenting Isn't for Cowards.

Let's talk now about fathers and daughters. Most psychologists believe, and I am one of them, that all future romantic relationships to occur in a girl's life will be influenced positively or negatively by the way she perceives and interacts with her dad. If he is an alcoholic and a bum, she will spend her life trying to replace him in her heart. If he is warm and nurturing, she will look for a lover to equal him. If he thinks she is beautiful, worthy and feminine, she will be inclined to see herself that way. But if he rejects her as unattractive and uninteresting, she is likely to carry self-esteem problems into her adult years.

I have also observed that a woman's willingness to accept the loving leadership of her husband is significantly influenced by the way she perceived the authority of her father. If he was overbearing, uncaring or capricious during her developmental years, she may attempt to grab the reins of leadership from her future husband. But if her dad blended love and discipline in a way that conveyed strength, she will be more willing to yield to the confident leadership of her husband.

None of these tendencies or trends is absolute, of course. Individual differences can always produce exceptions and contradictions. But this statement will be hard to refute: A good father will leave his imprint on his daughter for the rest of her life.

Many fathers are also called upon to perform another vitally important role during the adolescent years. It occurs when tension begins to develop between mothers and teenage girls. That conflict is very common among the ladies of the house. Several years may pass during which they don't even like each other very much.

In that setting, fathers are desperately needed as peacemakers and mediators. I have found that teenagers who are greatly irritated with one parent will sometimes seek to preserve their relationship with the other. It's like a country at war in search of supportive allies.

If fathers are chosen in that triangle, they can use the opportunity to settle their daughters and "interpret" their mothers in a more favorable light. They may also be able to help their wives ventilate their anger and understand their role in perpetuating the conflict. Without this masculine influence, routine skirmishes can turn into World War III.

In conclusion, I have this recurring message for today's fathers — especially to those who have teenagers at home: Don't let these years get away from you. Your contributions to your kids could rank as your greatest accomplishments in life — or your most oppressive failures.